Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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