it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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