I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
