Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
