That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
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He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination