I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
