just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.