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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".

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• (607): View more from New York

  My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.

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• (650): View more from California

  i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"

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• (716): View more from New York

  while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out

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