The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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