So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on