whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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