There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
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So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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