I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize