Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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