we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is Oprah even human
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
