This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Randomize
