omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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