Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
