How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't turn off my feet"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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