i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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