What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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