I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
