Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I want to be your penis for a week.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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