Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
