I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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