I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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