i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
