it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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