Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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