kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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