'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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