Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
