Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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