We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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