i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
