Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
