Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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