Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize