i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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