He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
