Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
