There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
