You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
