dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
