If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
