Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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