i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
