Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
