Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
