I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
