dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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