I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Enjoy the penises
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
