So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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