at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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