just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
