the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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