sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
