i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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