I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My vagina just clenched in fear
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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