Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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