I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
