BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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