I accidentally burped into my bong.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We have so much sex to catch up on
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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