i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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