As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
