Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize