Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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