Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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