Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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