it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
