I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
